Welcome to my little corner of the internet — where I share real stories about motherhood, healing through postpartum, journaling through the chaos, and figuring it all out one day at a time. Grab some tea, scroll through, and maybe you’ll find something you didn’t know you needed.
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Dear First-Time Mama: Everything I Wish I Knew Sooner
Becoming a mom for the first time is like being dropped into a foreign country with no map, no translator, and a tiny human who’s fully dependent on you… and can’t tell you what they need. Sounds cute, right?
If you’re reading this and you’re a new mama (or about to be), I’m giving you the real-deal advice I wish someone had handed me — in a handwritten letter, wrapped in a warm towel, and accompanied by a latte. This is your survival guide from someone who lived it. And cried through it. And came out the other side still standing — mascara smudged and all.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you) if you decide to purchase something I’ve recommended. I only share products I’ve personally used, loved, or believe in. Thank you for supporting my blog and helping me keep this space real and running 💛
You’re Going to Feel Overwhelmed — and That’s Normal
The hormones? They’re not playing. Between postpartum emotions, physical healing, and keeping a newborn alive, everything feels a lot. You’re not broken — your brain and body are literally rewiring themselves.
What helped me:
-Talking it out (even if it’s just to a journal)
-Crying when I needed to
-Listening to my favorite songs (It’s calmed my nerves since I was young)
Please don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor if things feel too heavy — postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than people admit. You deserve support.
Baby Gear You Actually Need vs. What Collects Dust
You don’t need everything on that “Newborn Must-Have” Pinterest board. Half of it ends up taking up space. Here’s what I actually used:
✅ Used daily:
–White Noise Machine
–Portable Diaper Caddy
–Velcro swaddles or zip-up sleepers — lifesavers!
–Baby wrap or carrier for contact naps
–FridaBaby tools: nose sucker, gas relief drops, etc.
❌ Rarely touched:
-Wipe warmers
-Fancy bottle sterilizer (your sink works)
-Newborn shoes (cute but… useless)
If it makes your life easier, it’s worth it. If it’s just “aesthetic,” think twice.
Feeding Is a Journey — Not a One-Size-Fits-All
Breastfeeding might come easy. Or it might feel like wrestling a baby octopus while crying. Fed is best. Full stop.
What helped me:
–Breastpump – I had to pump first and then get my baby to latch on!
–Lactation supplements or cookies
–Nipple balm — trust me
-Support groups or a local lactation consultant
Bottle feeding? Own it. Combo feeding? That’s a win too. You’re doing great. 💕
Sleep… LOL. But Here’s What Helped Me Cope
You’ve heard it: “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But when the baby sleeps in 45-minute intervals, it’s not exactly spa day.
Still — a few things saved my sanity:
–Sound Machine
–Blackout curtains — game changer
-A cozy nursing pillow or bed wedge for YOU
Also: ask for help. Trade off naps with your partner. Let Grandma hold the baby. You need rest too.
Don’t Forget About You (Seriously)
You’re still a person. You matter. Your body, your mind, and your identity deserve care.
My small-but-mighty go-tos:
–Comfy loungewear or high-waisted postpartum undies
–Towel warmer — because warm towels = instant joy
-Simple self-care: favorite tea, journal, candle, quiet time
-A postpartum recovery kit with perineal spray, padsicles, etc.
-Even 5 minutes of “you time” counts. You’re not selfish. You’re refilling your tank.
It’s Okay to Not “Love Every Minute”
People will say this a lot: “It goes so fast, enjoy every second.” And while that’s well-meaning, it’s not realistic.
Some moments will be magical. Some will be messy, exhausting, and deeply confusing. You can love your baby and still grieve your old life. You’re allowed to miss yourself.
Motherhood doesn’t ask you to be perfect. It asks you to show up, however you can. And you are. 💛
💌 Final Thoughts
To the new mama reading this: you are doing so much better than you think. Your baby doesn’t need perfection — just your love, your effort, and your presence (even if you haven’t brushed your hair in days).
I hope these little lessons and lifesaving links help you feel less alone. You’re not just surviving — you’re becoming. One diaper blowout at a time.
If you found this helpful, save it for later, share it with another mama, or comment with your own “wish I knew” advice. Let’s support each other, because this gig is wild — but it’s also worth it.
With love,
Mara4 min read
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✍️ How to Start Journaling When You Don’t Know Where to Begin
Because staring at a blank page shouldn’t feel like a personality flaw.
I get it. You finally carved out five sacred minutes to yourself, pen in hand, journal cracked open… and nothing. Your brain decides to either go completely blank or hit you with a grocery list and intrusive thoughts.
Starting a journaling habit can feel awkward — especially if you’re emotionally drained, overwhelmed, or just out of practice. But it doesn’t have to be complicated, curated, or even coherent. Journaling is not about perfection — it’s about presence.
Here’s how to start, even when you don’t know what the hell to say:
💭 1. Forget the Aesthetic
Let’s start here: your journal does not need to be pretty. This is not Pinterest or Instagram. You don’t need fancy pens, calligraphy, or stickers (unless that brings you joy — in which case, go off).
This is your space to be honest, messy, raw, weird. Your handwriting doesn’t need to be legible. Your spelling can be tragic. The goal? Feel it. Write it. Move on.
🧠 2. Brain Dump First
Try a “brain dump” — a no-rules, stream-of-consciousness writing style. Set a timer for 5 minutes and just pour whatever is in your head onto the page. It can be:
-Chaos
-Complaints
-“I don’t know what to write” over and over
-What’s you’re mad, sad, or tired about
This helps clear your mental clutter so your deeper thoughts can breathe.
✨ 3. Use Journal Prompts
Sometimes the hardest part is figuring out what to say. That’s where prompts come in — they help guide your focus.
Here are a few beginner-friendly prompts:
-“Right now, I feel…”
-“Something I wish I could say out loud is..”
-“If my younger self could see me now, she’d be…”
-“What do I need more of, what do I need less of?”
📅 4. Make It Tiny (and Habitual)
You don’t need to journal every day or write a novel. A few honest lines on a Post-it note count. The trick is not consistency, it’s accessibility.
Try this:
-Keep your journal by your bed or in your bag
-Journal during naptime or even waiting in the school pickup line.
-Pair it with something you already do- like morning or night routine.
The more doable it feels, the more you’ll show up.
💌 5. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
Not sure how to start? Try writing to yourself like you would your best friend. What would you say if she were going through what you are?
You don’t have to sound poetic or wise. Be real. Be messy. You are allowed to feel all of it.
🌿 My Real-Life Example:
When I first started journaling again postpartum, I didn’t know what to say. My emotions were louder than my thoughts. So I wrote:
“I feel like I’m drowning in a room full of people who love me. I don’t know why that makes me feel worse. I want to be grateful and I want to scream at the same time.”
Was it dramatic? Yes. Did it help me process what was really going on? Also yes.
🪞Final Thought:
If journaling feels awkward at first, good. That means you’re doing the work of reconnecting with yourself — not a curated version, but the real you. And that takes time.
Start messy. Write weird. Cry if you need to. Rip out pages. Yell on paper. Your journal doesn’t judge you — it holds space when nothing else does.4 min read
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🍼 Procrastination — Motherhood Edition
aka: how I do everything except what I’m supposed to be doing
I had a full to-do list today. I was going to clean, write, finally call the insurance company about an accident that happened weeks ago… instead, I reorganized the spice cabinet. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it was urgent. Maybe it was a cry for help.
Welcome to motherhood — where you’re constantly busy, and yet somehow still procrastinating. How does that even work? I promise you, I ask myself the same thing daily while I’m aimlessly opening and closing apps like that’s part of my morning routine.
🧠 The Mental Load is Real (And It’s Not Just in Your Head)
One thing I’ve learned since becoming a mom is that I am not actually lazy — I’m overloaded. There is always something to do. Always. Even when I’m “resting,” my brain is running through 6 different tabs:
-Did I wash her bottles?
-Is she overstimulated or just dramatic?
-What time did I last eat? Did I eat?
-Do I even like chicken nuggets anymore?
This is what’s known as the mental load, and it’s a silent energy-drain that doesn’t get enough credit. Add in sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the pressure to somehow be a “present, productive, Pinterest-worthy” mom — and yeah, of course I’m going to avoid stuff. My brain is fried.
🧺 What Procrastination Looks Like as a Mom
Motherhood procrastination isn’t like pre-baby procrastination. This isn’t lounging around and binge-watching Netflix all day. This is deep, productive-looking avoidance.
Here’s what that looks like for me:
-Cleaning the bathroom sink instead of replying to texts
-Deep diving into toddler clothes organization because I don’t want to deal with any socialization
-Folding laundry while also crying, because that somehow makes me feel “useful”
Some days I get stuck in a cycle of starting 10 things and finishing none of them. It’s not because I don’t care — it’s because I care too much and my brain short-circuits.
And sometimes? I’m just tired. That’s it. No poetic reason.
😵💫 Decision Fatigue is a Thing
Let’s get slightly scientific for a sec. There’s this concept called decision fatigue — it happens when you’ve made so many decisions in a day (what to feed your baby, what to wear, whether to let them eat that off the floor) that your brain just… quits. It’s like trying to run a marathon with no shoes. You physically can, but should you? No.
So by the time I sit down to do something for myself, like write or reflect or clean something important, I’m out of juice. I’m not lazy, I’m mentally maxed out.
😩 The Guilt Spiral
And oh, the guilt. Let’s talk about it.
Because when you do procrastinate as a mom, there’s always this little voice that says:
“You should be doing more.”
“Other moms have it together.”
“Why are you like this?”
The pressure to be the perfect mom is exhausting. And unrealistic. And honestly, kind of mean. Some days I’m just proud that I changed my underwear and fed myself something other than goldfish crackers. And I’ve decided… that’s enough.
🌿 What I’m Learning (Slowly… With Snacks)
I’m still figuring it out, but here’s what’s helped:
-Grace over guilt. I’m not a machine. I’m a human who grew and birthed a whole human..
-Mini habits. If a task feels huge, I just do one small part of it. Five minutes is better than nothing.
-Laughing at myself. Because sometimes I really do need to be humbled by the fact that I organized the sock drawer to avoid writing one email.
-Talking it out. Journaling, blogging, texting a fellow mom… anything that helps me feel less alone.
You’re Not Failing — You’re Fried
If you’re reading this while avoiding something else, same girl, same. But also — be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can with what you have, and sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest.
So here’s a little mom-to-mom to-do list:
✅ Keep the baby alive
✅ Breathe
✅ Feed yourself something (even if it’s toast crusts)
✅ Be nice to yourself
✅ Maybe fold that one pile of laundry… or don’t
Thanks for being here — and for procrastinating with me. If nothing else, I hope this made you feel seen. Now go drink some water and pretend you’re starting that task you’ve been avoiding. That’s what I’m about to do. 💌4 min read
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Tears, Trauma & Truth: My Journey Through PPD and Finding Myself Again
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression shortly after having my daughter, Aurora. I got on medication right away to help regulate my emotions, but I quickly realized healing wasn’t just about balancing brain chemistry — it was about rediscovering the version of myself I lost. And that’s something no prescription alone could do.
What helped me? Crying. Journaling. Talking to myself on paper when no one else could hold space. This is my truth, and maybe it’s yours too.
The Hormonal Storm They Don’t Warn You About
Most people don’t understand just how deep the changes go — not just during pregnancy, but long after giving birth. The hormonal crash postpartum is intense: your estrogen and progesterone levels, which skyrocket during pregnancy, plummet dramatically after birth. This sudden shift can lead to serious emotional dysregulation, and for many women — like me — that meant depression.
And it doesn’t stop there.
Studies show that it can take up to two full years for a woman’s body to physically and emotionally recover from childbirth. Your brain rewires itself in pregnancy to focus on caregiving — and while that’s beautiful, it can also make you forget who you are. Your needs, your creativity, your passions… they go quiet.
Mine did.
What Depression Looked Like for Me
For me, postpartum depression didn’t look like endless sadness or distance from my child. It looked like wearing the same sleep dress for days, changing only my socks and underwear because hygiene felt like the bare minimum. Some days, I skipped brushing my teeth. It wasn’t laziness — it genuinely felt like neglecting myself made sense. As if I didn’t deserve more.
I cried constantly. Not just sad tears — angry, overwhelmed, “I dropped a spoon” kind of tears. Crying in the shower. Crying while cleaning. Crying curled up in bed. It didn’t solve anything, but it let the emotions out. And here’s what I’ve learned:
We can suppress our emotions, but they don’t disappear.
“Pain demands to be felt.”
It’s true. And since having Aurora, I’ve had to feel every ounce of mine.
Losing Myself After Birth
I love being a mom — I truly feel like it came naturally to me. But I didn’t love how much of me got buried in the process.
Before pregnancy, I was a creative — always painting, always chasing light with my camera, traveling just to experience life from a new angle. I had spontaneity. I had art. After birth, my world slowed to a halt. I didn’t blame Aurora — she didn’t do anything wrong. But my identity still vanished.
And with that came grief. Silent, slow, and suffocating.
The Journaling That’s Saving Me
So how did I start to pull myself back together?
I cried.
I talked to myself.
And then — I started journaling.
But not the cute “dear diary” kind (though I was a diary girly). This time, I got serious. I bought a journal and created a table of contents — a roadmap of my trauma. Every memory my brain lingered on, I listed. And slowly, I began writing each one out in full detail. Not to relive it, but to release it.
Because my brain wasn’t built to carry this weight in silence.
Writing it out hurts. It cramps my hand. It brings up old wounds.
But it also heals parts of me I didn’t know I could reach.
Journaling has become my therapist when I couldn’t make it to therapy. It’s helped me unlearn ugly thought patterns, talk through hard truths, and — little by little — choose myself.
Still in the Storm, But Holding On
Here’s the honest part: I’m still going through it.
I’m sleep-deprived (my cardiologist told me that every missed 8-hour night of sleep takes 3 nights to repair — and I laughed, thinking of every all-nighter I pulled in my 20s). I’m overwhelmed. I’m constantly trying to balance calm motherhood with the emotional chaos of healing old wounds. I feel like a shaken-up Redbull — emotions fizzing in every direction.
And yet… I’m here. Still writing. Still trying.
I’ve learned that I hold myself to impossible standards. I prioritize my daughter, my partner, my home — and leave myself for last. That was my normal. But now, I’m trying to change that narrative. To give myself permission to go first, even if just for a few minutes a day. Because healing is hard when you’re buried under the weight of everyone else’s needs.
If You’re in It Too…
Thank you for reading this far into my truth. If you’re in the thick of postpartum depression, or grief, or just trying to find yourself again — I see you. And I know how ugly and non-linear this process can be.
It’s taken patience. Self-forgiveness. And a willingness to sit in my discomfort.
Journaling reminded me that I’m still here. That I can still speak, still create, still be something more than exhausted. I’m not all the way healed. But I’m no longer hiding from the healing either.
So here’s to the slow climb back to ourselves — one messy page at a time.
And honestly, this post only scratches the surface. I’ve probably only shared 15% of what postpartum depression really feels like. There’s so much more I hope to bring to light — not just for me, but for anyone else going through it and feeling alone.4 min read
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📍Back to Square One — Why I Chose to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom (and Start This BLOG)
So… here I am again. Back at square one.
The funny part is, I’ve been at so many “square ones” lately that I’m starting to think maybe it’s just a roundabout.But this time, I’m planting my flag here — not because I’ve failed, but because I’ve found myself again.
This is why I became a stay-at-home mom.
And this is why I started this blog.
☕ The Filler Job, the Dog, and the Big News
Let’s rewind.
I was working a regular 9-5 at a logistics company. It was fine. Paid the bills. Gave me structure. But it wasn’t fulfilling — more of a “filler job,” honestly. My husband worked full time too. We had a cat and a dog (Baby Cow — yes, really), and life was rolling along.
And then I got pregnant. Totally unplanned, but delightfully surprising.
We had some tough decisions to make — including rehoming Baby Cow. He was a high-needs pup, and we knew we couldn’t juggle that kind of energy with the new baby stress. It broke our hearts, but it was the right choice.
As the pregnancy went on, it became harder for me to work full days. Eventually, I left my job and stayed home for the rest of my pregnancy. Financially? It was hard. My husband carried the weight, and our families stepped in when things got tight — groceries, bills, the basics. We made it work.
🏠 Moving Home, and the Health Spiral
After the baby came, we moved back home to be closer to family and to save money. Once we got settled, in April of 2024… everything changed.
I started getting sick — like, ER-level sick. Every few months, it felt like I had food poisoning from hell. I looked gray. I was vomiting nonstop. Every time, the hospital had to calm my body down with IV meds.
Then came the seizures.
Not because of my epilepsy (I do have epilepsy — another story for another post), but because my body was in such distress from the vomiting that my meds couldn’t even stay down.Eventually, they caught something strange with my heart. And that’s when I was diagnosed with two different conditions:
Cardiomyopathy(aka broken heart syndrome)Arrhythmia(basically, my heart developed extra circuits that let it race up to 200 bpm — or drop into the 40s — without me even moving)
I’m medicated now. I have a great team of doctors. Things are mostly regulated.
But along with those diagnoses came anxiety. OCD. And — the big one — postpartum depression. I’ll write about her separately. She’s… a lot.
But we made it through. Again.
My husband and I somehow kept our heads above water.
🎨 The Paint & Sip Era… and the Flower Shop Fallout
Eventually, once I was feeling better, I got the itch to work again. I know, I know — call me crazy. The walls were starting to talk and I needed to get out of the house.
I picked up a part-time gig at a local paint & sip studio. It was fun, artsy, low-pressure. But after one bad Yelp review, they played the “last one in, first one out” card — and I was let go.
I cried. Stayed in bed. Felt like I was back to zero again.
But the next day, I walked into a flower shop down the street from our house in Atlanta. They were hiring. I started immediately. And for a little while? I loved it.
I was the youngest one there — everyone else was older (like, older than my parents), and I tried to fit in. But after a few weeks, I could tell… I didn’t belong.
No one really listened to me. My arrangements got no compliments. My ideas were ignored. One day, I was asked to stop what I was doing to take on another task, and I said a casual “mm-mm” (like, not right now). That apparently did not go over well.
The next day, I was fired.
Just like that. Back to square one.
💻 So I Started Writing Again
That’s how I landed here — not at zero, but back to me.
Back to the one thing I know how to do when everything else feels like it’s falling apart: express myself.So, I started this blog.
Writing is my release. It’s how I sort the chaos and turn it into something human.
This blog isn’t about being a perfect mom, or having the perfect journey. It’s just a place for me to be honest. Maybe you’re a new mom trying to make sense of it all. Maybe you’re like me, and you’ve been fired, cried, bounced back, and Googled “how to reinvent yourself without a breakdown.”
Either way — I’m glad you’re here.
Whether I’m sharing a product I love (like the planner I use to keep my brain intact), or a link to the tea that gets me through late-night anxiety, or just venting about life — this blog is my space.
And if anything here helps you feel less alone? That’s more than enough for me.4 min read
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The Beginning of Motherhood (and the Products That Actually Helped Me)
Let me start by saying this: my journey into motherhood started with a surprise. My husband and I weren’t exactly trying, but when we found out I was pregnant, we were delightfully shocked — nervous, excited, and very much in the “okay… let’s do this” mindset.
We were living in Savannah, GA at the time. I had a 9–5 desk job at a logistics company, and after the initial “what even is happening” settled, we kept the news mostly to ourselves — just immediate parents and that’s it. It felt sacred in a way. Quiet and just ours.
Just a quick note: some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you buy something through them — no pressure, and no extra cost to you. I only ever link things I’ve actually used and found helpful.
The First Trimester: Goodbye Vices, Hello Nausea
I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, and almost immediately — boom, morning sickness. It didn’t last long, thankfully, but it definitely made those first few weeks feel very real. I also had to let go of two big parts of my daily routine: nicotine vaping and weed. Quitting cold turkey wasn’t easy (especially when paired with nausea), but it was a non-negotiable for me.
I’ve also been living with epilepsy (a story I’ll share another day), but luckily it wasn’t a complication. I stayed on my meds and felt grateful every day that my body was cooperating with this huge shift.
Oh — and caffeine? That breakup was rough. I’ve been drinking Café Bustelo espresso-style since I was 16, so trying to replace that with chai or green tea was a joke. I hated it all. But somehow, I made it through.
But then I found a specific tea that actually helped — it supported a healthy pregnancy and was gentle enough to sip all day without making me feel deprived. It became part of my daily ritual and honestly helped me feel a little more grounded.
Along with that, I also started taking a few supportive vitamins alongside my prenatals. At that point, I was just doing what felt intuitively right — nourishing my body, staying hydrated, and trying to stay balanced emotionally too. To keep track of it all, I bought the cutest little pill organizer — because if I’m going to be responsible, I want it to at least match my vibe.
It may sound small, but having everything laid out and easy to grab kept me from forgetting doses (especially on sleepy mornings when I was already dragging myself out of bed).
Second Trimester: Embracing Comfort and Self-Care
Once I started showing (hello, second trimester), things started to click. I got really into taking care of myself — physically, emotionally, and even aesthetically.
As a brown-skinned olive girl, I expected to get stretch marks on my belly (I already had some on my hips from puberty). So I went into full skin-care mode. My holy grail routine looked something like this:
-Baths a few times a week to stay relaxed and melt away tension with the help of Epsom Salt.
-Weekly Exfoliation – Body Scrub
-Slathering on Vitamin E oil right after the bath while my skin was still a little damp — and anytime it felt dry or tight.
-Learning as We Went (and Laughing a Lot)
We also did what most people probably (hopefully???) do — we got the books.
–What to Expect When You’re Expecting
–The Pregnancy Guide For Men
Reading those helped, but what really made us feel more prepared was picking out the hospital I wanted to give birth at ahead of time, and signing up for their free prenatal classes. Highly recommend this if your local hospital offers them — ours covered everything from labor stages to pain management, breastfeeding basics, and newborn care.
They even had one of those strap-on pregnancy bellies for the dads to try on. My husband volunteered (hero), and yes, it was hilarious. We all laughed in the classroom while he waddled around holding his fake bump. It was a light moment in a sea of unknowns, and we left those classes genuinely feeling more confident as a unit.
Game-Changers for Everyday Comfort
There were a few things that truly made pregnancy more bearable — especially once the belly started growing and comfort became the name of the game:
-New underwear I tossed my thongs and invested in stretchy, soft, grandma-coded underwear that didn’t dig, pinch, or roll. It was revolutionary.
-Tight clothes and pants? We don’t know her. I lived in flowy dresses that let me breathe and didn’t pressure my belly. It wasn’t about “maternity fashion” — it was about sanity.
-Fuzzy socks for the win I suddenly hated having bare feet, so I became a full-time fuzzy sock collector. Cozy feet = cozy life.
–The pregnancy pillow– Easily one of the best investments I made. One of those oddly shaped, full-body support pillows that could be twisted into all kinds of configurations — under my belly, between my legs, hugging my back, you name it.
Honestly? She saved me from a total BF (White Chicks reference, if you know you know).
Honorable mention: my lion Squishmallow — yes, I had one specific plush I slept with every night (and still do). He was the perfect squishy headrest, hug buddy, and emotional support lion all in one. Sometimes, comfort doesn’t have to be complicated.
I’ll add a link here for him, but disclaimer: mine is 12 inches and they sadly don’t sell that size anymore. I’ll link the 8″ and 14″ versions so you can pick your own squishy sidekick. 🦁
14” Squishy
8”Squishy
Final Thoughts
Looking back, the products were helpful — but what really made a difference was giving myself permission to lean into comfort. To not worry about looking cute or doing pregnancy “right,” but instead to do what made me feel good in my body.
Every pregnancy is different, but if you’re just starting yours and looking for what might actually help — I hope something in here speaks to you. Or at the very least, reminds you that you’re allowed to be soft with yourself right now.
Motherhood begins before the baby arrives. And so does learning how to take care of yourself in the process.4 min read
