Becoming a mom for the first time is like being dropped into a foreign country with no map, no translator, and a tiny human who’s fully dependent on you… and can’t tell you what they need. Sounds cute, right?
If you’re reading this and you’re a new mama (or about to be), I’m giving you the real-deal advice I wish someone had handed me — in a handwritten letter, wrapped in a warm towel, and accompanied by a latte. This is your survival guide from someone who lived it. And cried through it. And came out the other side still standing — mascara smudged and all.
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You’re Going to Feel Overwhelmed — and That’s Normal
The hormones? They’re not playing. Between postpartum emotions, physical healing, and keeping a newborn alive, everything feels a lot. You’re not broken — your brain and body are literally rewiring themselves.
What helped me:
-Talking it out (even if it’s just to a journal)
-Crying when I needed to
-Listening to my favorite songs (It’s calmed my nerves since I was young)
Please don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor if things feel too heavy — postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than people admit. You deserve support.
Baby Gear You Actually Need vs. What Collects Dust
You don’t need everything on that “Newborn Must-Have” Pinterest board. Half of it ends up taking up space. Here’s what I actually used:
✅ Used daily:
–White Noise Machine
–Portable Diaper Caddy
–Velcro swaddles or zip-up sleepers — lifesavers!
–Baby wrap or carrier for contact naps
–FridaBaby tools: nose sucker, gas relief drops, etc.
❌ Rarely touched:
-Wipe warmers
-Fancy bottle sterilizer (your sink works)
-Newborn shoes (cute but… useless)
If it makes your life easier, it’s worth it. If it’s just “aesthetic,” think twice.
Feeding Is a Journey — Not a One-Size-Fits-All
Breastfeeding might come easy. Or it might feel like wrestling a baby octopus while crying. Fed is best. Full stop.
What helped me:
–Breastpump – I had to pump first and then get my baby to latch on!
–Lactation supplements or cookies
–Nipple balm — trust me
-Support groups or a local lactation consultant
Bottle feeding? Own it. Combo feeding? That’s a win too. You’re doing great. 💕
Sleep… LOL. But Here’s What Helped Me Cope
You’ve heard it: “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But when the baby sleeps in 45-minute intervals, it’s not exactly spa day.
Still — a few things saved my sanity:
–Sound Machine
–Blackout curtains — game changer
-A cozy nursing pillow or bed wedge for YOU
Also: ask for help. Trade off naps with your partner. Let Grandma hold the baby. You need rest too.
Don’t Forget About You (Seriously)
You’re still a person. You matter. Your body, your mind, and your identity deserve care.
My small-but-mighty go-tos:
–Comfy loungewear or high-waisted postpartum undies
–Towel warmer — because warm towels = instant joy
-Simple self-care: favorite tea, journal, candle, quiet time
-A postpartum recovery kit with perineal spray, padsicles, etc.
-Even 5 minutes of “you time” counts. You’re not selfish. You’re refilling your tank.
It’s Okay to Not “Love Every Minute”
People will say this a lot: “It goes so fast, enjoy every second.” And while that’s well-meaning, it’s not realistic.
Some moments will be magical. Some will be messy, exhausting, and deeply confusing. You can love your baby and still grieve your old life. You’re allowed to miss yourself.
Motherhood doesn’t ask you to be perfect. It asks you to show up, however you can. And you are. 💛
💌 Final Thoughts
To the new mama reading this: you are doing so much better than you think. Your baby doesn’t need perfection — just your love, your effort, and your presence (even if you haven’t brushed your hair in days).
I hope these little lessons and lifesaving links help you feel less alone. You’re not just surviving — you’re becoming. One diaper blowout at a time.
If you found this helpful, save it for later, share it with another mama, or comment with your own “wish I knew” advice. Let’s support each other, because this gig is wild — but it’s also worth it.
With love,
Mara