
aka: how I do everything except what Iām supposed to be doing
I had a full to-do list today. I was going to clean, write, finally call the insurance company about an accident that happened weeks ago⦠instead, I reorganized the spice cabinet. Why? I donāt know. Maybe it was urgent. Maybe it was a cry for help.
Welcome to motherhood ā where youāre constantly busy, and yet somehow still procrastinating. How does that even work? I promise you, I ask myself the same thing daily while Iām aimlessly opening and closing apps like thatās part of my morning routine.
š§ The Mental Load is Real (And Itās Not Just in Your Head)
One thing Iāve learned since becoming a mom is that I am not actually lazy ā Iām overloaded. There is always something to do. Always. Even when Iām āresting,ā my brain is running through 6 different tabs:
-Did I wash her bottles?
-Is she overstimulated or just dramatic?
-What time did I last eat? Did I eat?
-Do I even like chicken nuggets anymore?
This is whatās known as the mental load, and itās a silent energy-drain that doesnāt get enough credit. Add in sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the pressure to somehow be a āpresent, productive, Pinterest-worthyā mom ā and yeah, of course Iām going to avoid stuff. My brain is fried.
š§ŗ What Procrastination Looks Like as a Mom
Motherhood procrastination isnāt like pre-baby procrastination. This isnāt lounging around and binge-watching Netflix all day. This is deep, productive-looking avoidance.
Hereās what that looks like for me:
-Cleaning the bathroom sink instead of replying to texts
-Deep diving into toddler clothes organization because I donāt want to deal with any socialization
-Folding laundry while also crying, because that somehow makes me feel āusefulā
Some days I get stuck in a cycle of starting 10 things and finishing none of them. Itās not because I donāt care ā itās because I care too much and my brain short-circuits.
And sometimes? Iām just tired. Thatās it. No poetic reason.
šµāš« Decision Fatigue is a Thing
Letās get slightly scientific for a sec. Thereās this concept called decision fatigue ā it happens when youāve made so many decisions in a day (what to feed your baby, what to wear, whether to let them eat that off the floor) that your brain just⦠quits. Itās like trying to run a marathon with no shoes. You physically can, but should you? No.
So by the time I sit down to do something for myself, like write or reflect or clean something important, Iām out of juice. Iām not lazy, Iām mentally maxed out.
š© The Guilt Spiral
And oh, the guilt. Letās talk about it.
Because when you do procrastinate as a mom, thereās always this little voice that says:
āYou should be doing more.ā
āOther moms have it together.ā
āWhy are you like this?ā
The pressure to be the perfect mom is exhausting. And unrealistic. And honestly, kind of mean. Some days Iām just proud that I changed my underwear and fed myself something other than goldfish crackers. And Iāve decided⦠thatās enough.
šæ What Iām Learning (Slowly⦠With Snacks)
Iām still figuring it out, but hereās whatās helped:
-Grace over guilt. Iām not a machine. Iām a human who grew and birthed a whole human..
-Mini habits. If a task feels huge, I just do one small part of it. Five minutes is better than nothing.
-Laughing at myself. Because sometimes I really do need to be humbled by the fact that I organized the sock drawer to avoid writing one email.
-Talking it out. Journaling, blogging, texting a fellow mom⦠anything that helps me feel less alone.
Youāre Not Failing ā Youāre Fried
If youāre reading this while avoiding something else, same girl, same. But also ā be kind to yourself. Youāre doing the best you can with what you have, and sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest.
So hereās a little mom-to-mom to-do list:
ā
Keep the baby alive
ā
Breathe
ā
Feed yourself something (even if itās toast crusts)
ā
Be nice to yourself
ā
Maybe fold that one pile of laundry⦠or donāt
Thanks for being here ā and for procrastinating with me. If nothing else, I hope this made you feel seen. Now go drink some water and pretend youāre starting that task youāve been avoiding. Thatās what Iām about to do. š
